Arg. Well, once again in my head I've convinced myself that I'm not pregnant. Here is my rational. I feel nothing. Well, not really nothing. I mean, I have the same insomnia I had last time. This is where I wake in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep because I'm worried that I will be homeless or divorced or sick or anything bad. Then my heart beats real fast and I'm up for hours. By the time I fall back asleep, Hannah is just waking up and the cycle starts again.
It's kind of like a double edged sword ... do I really want morning sickness? I mean, would that reassure me? Probably not. So the end of this worry turned to buying a digital Clearblue pregnancy test today and taking it ... +. So yes, I am still pregnant according to cheap internet home pregnancy tests, First Response pregnancy tests, and Clearblue Easy Digital pregnancy tests.
Ok, so even though I think I have no symptoms, I might be able to admit I'm more emotional. Well, today I felt guilty for going to the grocery store to pick up some milk without Hannah. I felt selfish that why should I leave her at home cause I'm lazy? Why should she have to suffer?
So, do we think that might be an emotional moment that can be attributed to wacky hormones?
So far this post might not make must sense. I apologize. I guess another symptom I have is emotional distress. Hannah had another rough day today due to the teething and it pulled at my heart strings. There wasn't much I could do to make her happy but just hold/hug her.
My appt. with the doc is Monday at 2pm. How many hours until then?! Not that he'll have any magic and tell me everything will be fine, but I'm looking forward to having a medical expert let me know what the deal is rather than my urine!
On a fun note, I went to see Elton John perform last night with my hubby, Angie & Mo. It was interesting. Our seats were physically the highest possible - Section 308 Row R. Elton was ok, not to chatty with the crowd but vocally very strong. The people around us were really weird. Totally weird. There was this pregnant woman (maybe 7-8 months) at the end of our row and any time someone left the row, she gave them a dirty look. At the end of the night she tripped my hubby! How cool is that?
I'm exhausted. I think my dumbest desicion so far in this pregnancy is giving up caffeine! Where is all my energy?!- help. How do people do it. - gulp.
Pooped & Prego,
Sharon
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